Let us weary in the world rejoice!

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine! 

Today as I sat in Christmas chapel and listen to Josh Junyor play "O Holy Night" so magnificently on the piano I started singing the lyrics in my head along as he played.  This is one of my favorite Christmas songs so I had sang the words hundreds of times, but today I actually meditated on them.  The lyrics that made me stop and think were "Long lay the world in sin and error pining till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.  A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn."  It just kind of all clicked in my head at that point.  Before Jesus there was only hope in following the law and trying to redeem your unrighteousness with obedience.  The law was to show their lack of holiness and they were to follow it to work towards being holy as God is holy.  Jesus arriving on this earth and then dying for us should, as the song says, make us the weary rejoice because hope is here!  A new day has come. Christ was here among men and for that we should be celebrating!  

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.  And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5

As I feel weary and a little hopeless at times this gives me hope.  In John 1:14 it says "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."  Jesus is the grace and truth that that we need so desperately.  My worry about my future, my mom being really sick, my relationships, weariness, and just being tired are all soothed and relieved by how vulnerable, and how much suffering and hardship Jesus endured just for me.  I don't deserve to be blessed, but because of Christ's grace I am so I will rejoice extra loud this Christmas season as 

"I celebrate the day that You were born to die so I could one day pray for You to save my life" -Relient K

Transparency

Transparent is to be easily seen through, recognized or detected, to be open, frank or candid.

After I attended the girl's retreat I have seen the need in my life and the lives of us all, actually, to be transparent, to be real with one another.  To stop smiling and pretending that everything is fine when its really not.  A few months ago I met a freshman on the sidewalk and asked him how his day was.  He replied, "Do you want the real or the fake answer?"  His statement struck me and caused me to think about how many times I ask people how they are doing and not really caring how they really are, but just as a conversation filler.  I am expecting a "fine or good" and if I get anything different I am caught off guard as I was with this freshman.  The more we pretend that everything is okay in our lives all the time the more we shut out people and stop investing ourselves in them.  I have caught myself doing this exact thing this semester.  When I have dealt with things I have hid that from most people I interact with and even my closest friends. I guess admitting I wasn't okay and for me to stop smiling would have been to admit that my life wasn't great and that I did indeed have problems.  But isn't that what our brothers and sisters in Christ are for?

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." James 5:16

I am not saying tell everyone everything about you all the time.  I am just trying to convey that we need to utilize each other for strength to make it through those rough times. Invest in people and they will invest in you.   It is okay to have bad days, but we need to try and not wallow in them, but instead see God's purpose in them.  On the bad days see them for what they are a chance to grow, to depend on God and the people He has placed in our path to assist us and to show us His truth when we might not be able to see it.  I am experiencing this lesson daily.  I am writing this because I am convicted of it and so I can read it to remind myself of what I should be doing to make it through this season of my life.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."  Romans 8:18

Oh the winds of change....

I have always had bangs. (Yes I know this is a weird thing to talk about in my first ever post on my blog but hey hang in there I do have a point).  For some reason I decided that this year I was going to grow my bangs out. I needed a change. I needed to make something different about my appearance.  I had this whole feeling of staleness and the need to be unique.  Well same goes for my life.  I am experiencing change on a grand and massive scale in my life this year.  As a senior I am graduating so with that comes the future and its endless list of possibilities that are overwhelming and frightening to even start to sort through.  The decision of should I go to seminary, graduate school, take a year off or just get a job is looming ahead of me.  Change from my safe and comforting nest of Willliams and my family here that gives support and unwavering encouragement to a whole new phase of my life.  

My walk with Christ is ever changing.  The patience and willingness to wait for Him to be my Sustainer and my only Constant.  To be able to trust that God is providing for me in all ways and I have to release my useless pride and fear to Him and let Him take complete control.  So much easier said than done as I have been learning these past three days.  The change in relationships in my life from the dependency on someone and now having to let that go and just lean on Jesus.  

Oh change is painful and can be annoying and is most certainly never easy.  It is usually uncomfortable and at some point in the process we want to give up and go back to the way it used to be.  But as with my bangs you have to commit to change and commit to seeing it through and trusting God to "be my rescue, for where else can I go?  My conclusion to handling all this change is found in the words of one of my favorite hymns.

"Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him.  How I've proved Him o'er and o'er.  Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus. Oh for Grace to trust Him more." Amen.