I feel like I am in the desert. I am feeling burn out and its only February. This is not good news. However it is my own fault that I am lacking spiritual nourishment. For the past week or so I have had an attitude with God of I can do this on my own. I put him in the back of my mind. I felt myself slipping into bad habits that I had been working to overcome since the new year. I have a problem with being selfish. I want what I want when I want it. I have been having a attitude of rebelliousness with God this week. Things are not exactly like I want them to be and I just decided to "show him" I guess. As always though I recognize how completely stupid it is to try and "show" God something. No matter how much I get mad and want things to be my way it will never be as amazing as what God has in store for me. I know we always say things like that but it really is true. His plan may not be what my selfish desires want but it will always be better because it is from Him. I don't need to let bitterness take root and grow anymore than it already has. I have a great life and have so many blessings from God its ridiculous but as I already said I am selfish and therefore am not satisfied which is not okay. Hebrews 12:15 says
"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."
Bitterness and anger at God are not productive. They are human responses that I must deal with and work through. Being satisfied with feeling this way is definitely not okay with me. The amazing thing about God is no matter how ridiculous I am He is always there waiting for me to stop being stupid. He is there to guide me through this "desert" that I am going through. For that I am humbled and awed beyond measure and I need to remember
"All of my life in every season You are still God. I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship." Amen -Hillsong
The Desert Song.........This song has gotten me through the day. Give it a listen.
