It is definitely 5 o'clock somewhere...

Airports. They are the absolutely most fabulous place to watch people in the world. You see such a wide variety and assortment that you cannot be bored.  It is just not possible.  I flew home to Arkansas by way of the Atlanta airport through to Memphis last weekend. When I arrived to check-in they informed me that there was not an available seat so I should wait and see what they could do for me.  I stood to the side of the line and watched everyone check in and proceed to their seats.  I have always seen that person standing there awkwardly, but this was my first experience being that person.  People look at you and are internally thinking and glaring at you: "I am so glad that is not me", "I wonder if she is a terrorist", "She better not hold up our flight" and etc.  Finally my turn came and the sweet lady that was checking boarding passes began to click and pound the keys of her keyboard. The woman seriously was flying across those buttons like nobody's business. I just knew I was going to have to wait and be bumped to a later flight.  Instead she happily informed me that because of the airlines mistake I was sitting in first class. FIRST CLASS! This is on my bucket list to sit in first class and even better it was FREE. I get settled in my seat and I immediately notice that my shoulders have so much more room and my legs are not all scrunched up like back in coach.  This is the best.  While we were waiting to take off the stewardess comes and asks what drinks we would like before heading toward Memphis.  I tell her I would like water.  Considering it is 8 o'clock in the morning I mentally assume that everyone around me will have coffee, water, orange juice or maybe soda.  No. Everyone around me ordered Baileys and coffee. It was like wild fire.  One person ordered it and so the entire first class section besides me ordered it as well.  They had two rounds before we even were off the ground.  Once up in the air I settled in reading my book and the stewardess came back around to check on if we needed anything.  Then the serious drinks started coming.  Everyone ordered vodka tonics and then they started on bloody Mary's.  The first class section drank the airplane out of alcohol.  This is an hour flight mind you.  It was nuts.  I have never seen people get slammed first thing in the morning on an airplane as a collective group like this.  The group was very diverse.  There was the standard know-it-all business man who has been in every business venture from contracting, golf cart manufacturing, enlistment. and some sort of sales.  If he hadn't done it I am pretty sure it didn't exist.  There were the parent and adult children group who were going to a golf event while wearing matching Ralph Lauren Polo outfits.  They discussed their "wealth" the entirety of the flight.  As I sat there with this indeed eclectic group I wondered do I seem like this to all the coach passengers who passed by? When they see me in the airport later are they going to assume I was imagining I was at Margaritaville while on the plane like these other peeps?  (Just as a note I happened to be wearing a Ralph Lauren Polo shirt that day.)  Hopefully they could distinguish that I was not at the party barge first thing in the morning considering I was able to walk straight off the plane and could pass a sobriety test if needed.  I guess this whole bizarre and very amusing experience just goes to show that it really is 5 o'clock somewhere or at least that's what these folks were counting on. 

You can take the girl out of Arkansas but you can't take Arkansas out of the girl

If you were unaware of this and it is quite possible if you are reading this you do not know I recently moved to Atlanta. Yes. I said Atlanta, Georgia.  The peach state.  Home of former President Jimmy Carter.  Okay I think there are all the Georgian facts I have for the moment.  The reason for my move was to attend seminary.  I feel a call to ministry and at the moment I see it being in the area of teaching hopefully Christian Ethics at the collegiate level.  Pretty much everyone who has found out that I moved to Atlanta has questioned my ability to survive in this urban jungle.  This rural Arkansas girl will surely be trampled by the city folk here in Atlanta.  On the other side of the coin most everyone I have met here in Atlanta is taken aback that they can now say they have met someone from Arkansas (because apparently you don't meet folks from AR every day) and they are concerned that where I am from is three hours from an airport.  To everyone at home I have survived a week. I have successfully located Target (of course one of the essentials to locate in any city) and have managed to maneuver my way on both the perimeter interstate and the other one (I can't remember the name right now) which are both located minutes from my apartment.  Aside from the haters it is kind of nice being a novelty.  I am educating all my new friends on the quirky and interesting (well I think they are interesting) facts about my beloved home state.  Williams Baptist College is now known here.  They are aware of the earthquakes we have, the diamond mine, Razorback pride, and the wet/dry county issue.  My Georgian friends have shown me Stone Mountain and its Confederate glory.  I feel like I can confidently say I am a true Southerner after seeing the monument to the Confederate heroes.  My roommate is from North Carolina and we trade facts daily.  I do await getting to visit the beach there one day soon. On a more serious note since I have arrived here I have seen the Lord again show His faithfulness.  My grandmother passed away yesterday.  I already have community who is praying for me and my family here and that is most appreciated.  I am blessed to be able to fly home for the funeral and to be with my family as we grieve the loss of this amazing woman who has forever shaped my life.  (I plan on writing a post dedicated to my grandmother soon).  Arkansas will forever be my home but for now while I am in Atlanta I am excited and comforted by my experience here so far.  God is with me as I pursue my education and the Lord's hand will be over me no matter where I am.

Free from Sin

This picture kind of says it all. Christ and his unfathomable mercy will always be more abounding than the dirty, nasty, dark and perverse sin in us.  We are new creatures in Christ, we have a fresh start, and a clean slate.

"Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death?

For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism.  And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives.

Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was.  We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives.  We are no longer slaves to sin.  For when we died to Christ we were set free from the power of sin.  And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him.  We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead and he will never die again.  Death no longer has any power over him.  When he died, he died once to break the power of sin.  But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God.

So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus." -Romans 6:1-11

This passage explains so amazingly how that even though we do still sin we are no longer enslaved by it.  Jesus has freed us from it. We only choose to let it shackle us and ensnare us.  I am writing to myself here too. I make a conscious choice to let sin control me instead of living as Christ and letting the passions of the flesh fall to the wayside.  I am dead to the power of sin so why do I choose to let it have power over me?  I feel like fall back into these patterns of darkness instead of walking into the light that holds freedom and peace.  Later on in Chapter 6 Paul tells us that he is using the analogy of slavery to relate it to our human nature.  He is urging us to no longer be slaves to sin but to righteousness and holiness.  "Be holy as I am holy" the Lord says. I think that putting this whole chapter in context I finally truly understand this last verse that I have heard my whole life:

"For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life." -Romans 6:23

 

 

Women can fix tires too.

If you have ever met me you probably have realized that I am a pretty independent person.  I think a lot of this has to do with me being an only child.  Anyways back to what I was saying. I don't mind being alone, I can actually go to the bathroom by myself (unlike most women) and I have this drive to prove that I can do whatever the task set before me on my own.  I have terrible luck with cars especially with tires.  I have probably had 10-15 tire repairs in the past 4 years.  I am really not exaggerating.  It is terrible.  I have changed flats in super hot weather most memorably at Adriana's with Casey right along side me. Shout out to her!  I have used the ole handy fix-a-flat when needed and any other means to hold my tires together until I can have them serviced.  I find it COMPLETELY and ABSOLUTELY annoying and irritating that 9 out of 10 times when I enter Sears or Walmart or whatever service center establishment that they assume because I am a female I do not know that my tire is low and needs to be repaired and/or replaced.  Does it really take a man to see that the tire is not at the correct pressuring reading?! Obviously I am pretty angry about this particular subject.  I had a most unpleasant experience today with an absolute jerk when I went to get yet another tire fixed.  Instead of punching him as I wanted to I just sat there and thought "Well I guess I need to have a man with me to even be taken seriously to get my tire fixed." How ludacris is that? It made me kinda angry that I was even considering having to have a man do that for me. I know boys who cannot even change a tire (you know who you are). Don't get me wrong. I love men. I want to get married, have babies, the whole nine yards but I don't want to have to need one to do the simplest of things.  This is just annoying.  Maybe I have multiple factors working against me. I am a female, blonde, young, and I am a pretty nice person most of the time. Does this scream idiot? I am not really sure.  I should probably stop trying to analyze the minds of these men who are stereotyping me.  Well I feel better. My diatribe is complete. Hopefully people who read this won't think that I am a man basher or uberfeminist.  I am just trying to do my best as a single independent girl out on my own.  Just trying to fix one tire at a time.

Being a woman of substance

This is going to be a pure and simple rant so buckle up and hold on.  Women of substance.  I feel like we ("we" being myself and all the other women that I know who truly are intelligent and awesome people) as women of substance are passed over and pushed aside a lot.  We are the girls that are "good for marrying" but not for dating.  What does that even mean?! How can you get married if you didn't date first? This concept perplexes me. How do you get from point A to point B if you bypass point A? 

Anyways, I hear people tell my sisters and myself that one day a man will come and appreciate us for who we are but that will be 5 or (insert random number here) years down the road when they are mature and will value us for who we are.  So where does that leave us now? It leaves us as being their friend while they are dating the girls I will describe shortly and  us being supportive when the relationships do not work out.  We will be there for comfort and a shoulder to cry on. So now where are these men? What are they doing in this 5 to random number of years period?  My theory is they are being stupid.  They are dating the girls that we cannot stand, that have no brain cells, wear bump-its, but sure know how to have fun (ahem).  They are super high maintenance, shallow, and spend way too much time on their nails. Forgive me for the cynicism, but these days I am just really annoyed at men my age being afraid of substance and commitment.  I am tired of young women lowering their standards for affection and attention.  Maybe I am just tired.  I am a woman of substance.  I have lowered my standards, been in relationships that were not at all what I needed or God intended and yet again here I am where I started.....waiting for that man of substance to recognize me for what I am.  It's worth waiting for so I guess I will feel better after this vent session and just keep on waiting.

Who shall I fear?

If you have ever had an anxiety attack they are no fun for sure. You feel kind of like you can't breathe and the situation you are in seems inescapable and overwhelming. Anxiety is just plain and simple worry.  It is hard to control anxiety or worry when you let it manifest and continue to grow in your thoughts day after day.  I'm pretty sure we are all guilty of that. I worry about whether or not people like me, if I will have enough money to do anything besides pay my bills, my family, being single forever, getting wrinkles, not having enough pairs of sandals, etc.  Obviously I worry about important and some not so important things. Does worry about any of this help???? No. Of course not. I love the book of James and in his writings James says:

 "Look here you who say 'Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year.  We will do business there and make a profit.' How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone.  What you ought to say is, 'If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.'  Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil."

Or there is Matthew 6:34 when Jesus tells the disciples:

"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."

And of course David and his poetry says so eloquently in Psalm 55:22 :

"Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you."

I feel like at times we are all paralyzed with this anxiousness and have a worried spirit. I was bogged down with this for a better part of a year and the only reason I moved out of it was because I realized the Lord controls everything anyway.  Why should I waste precious time that I could spend serving Him and making His name known worrying about things I can and never will be able to control? There is no good answer to this except that I and we shouldn't be.
 As I child I was scared of the dark (don't tell anyone but I still kind of am) and my mom would sit with me as I went to sleep and she would say  "When you are afraid put your trust in Him" until I believed it.  It is still kind of like that now.  I sit in the darkness of apprehension, angst and concern and Jesus is there with me saying "When you are afraid put your trust in Me."

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of it's strength."

 -Corrie Ten Boom

Doing that thing again.

I am doing that thing again. That thing where I hide from something that is bothering me by staying up super late to make myself so tired when I finally close my eyes that I have to go to sleep, where I don't talk a lot and keep to myself or where I read a whole series of books or watch a whole television series.  I am avoiding.  This time though I am not really sure what I am avoiding.  Wait. I think I do though. It is change.  Wow. Isn't that like the topic of almost 90 percent of my blog? Shouldn't be that big of a surprise.  All year I have been wanting my life to be different. And now it is finally changing to be what I know is the way I am to go, but the way things are just seem so safe and comforting.  I think maybe this goes along hand in hand with my commitment phobia.  If you didn't know this about me.....then hang on. I am super scared of commitment.  Like get a paper bag and breathe into it when marriage is brought up scared of commitment. I like dreaming about the whole proposal, marriage, kids and a picket fence scenario just like the next girl, but right now it is just a dream, not reality.  I think all of this junk just leads back to my fear of change and the lack of control that comes along with it.  If I don't know what is going to happen then I can't control it and manipulate it to my liking etc.  But isn't that what faith and the whole Jesus thing is for?  Yet again my stupid human self has forgotten that God is faithful.  I should really quit doing that.  But hey one thing that I got out of this mess is that I am now obsessed with "The Vampire Diaries."  Can't complain about that I guess.